


such a thing as humanity.

by in48frames



Category: Revenge (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-14
Updated: 2012-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-31 04:45:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/340018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in48frames/pseuds/in48frames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompted by the quote "They say when you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. They underestimate me." from http://asofterworld.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	such a thing as humanity.

Amanda Clarke's life ended the day her father was arrested. They say, "When you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves," but Amanda has nothing left to lose. The life she has built as Emily Thorne is sugar and air; if and when it all comes crashing down, she won't have any more or less than she started with. That is, of course, if she planned on ever being exposed. Which she doesn't. She's toyed with fantasies of standing above a heap of bodies and saying, "My name is Amanda Clarke. This all is rightfully mine," but that would be too petty, too short-sighted. She didn't get into this for one brief moment of triumph. Her hatred is deep and pure; selfless. Vengeance is all.

When it ends, well, she doesn't think too much about it. Somewhere far away, there will be a place for her to drink and have sex and learn another language or two. Once this is over, she will never again form a bond with another human being, pretense or no. It will be over, and she will be free, and she will stop living by the rules of civilized society. She lost her civility long, long ago.

There is a piece deep inside that tells her it will never be over. She will never be free. But she ignores that voice (along with the one that tells her she still feels things; bullshit) because she is one breath away from truly snapping and she holds on to sanity with all her might. Her control is expansive, but anything spread out that far becomes thin. The hours during which she is not actively working toward revenge are spent repeating the things she knows: They deserve this. They need to pay. She is the only one who can make them pay. 

She runs along the beach to keep her body fit and she says to herself, _They deserve this. They need to pay. I am the only one who can make them pay._ When she has no one to share a meal with, she remembers to eat to keep her body strong, and she says to herself, _They deserve this. They need to pay. I am the only one who can make them pay._ When she walks down the street, she smiles breezily at families on holidays, buys a pastry to keep some fat on her bones, and says to herself, _They deserve this. They need to pay. I am the only one who can make them pay._

One day something is going to break. She can't let it be her.


End file.
